Category Archives: Naruto

Jumping the Snark

In fact, I finished reading the Naruto manga a few weeks ago, but then I got a nasty cold, and then I decided to play Etrian Odyssey again, and I don't even know why I found it so hard the first time, because it wasn't harder than any other RPG, and then I decided to get a move on with the Gyakuten Saiban translations. I should have posted this earlier while it was still fresh in my memory, but shaanai naa, what can you do?

i am madara
I guess I'm Madara. Reality is way over-rated.

So... I was disappointed. An awful lot of sharks were jumped. It felt like Kishimoto went "Oops! I've just OP'd Madara, what should I do? I know! Let's power up Naruto and Sasuke! Akan! I've OP'd the boys now... What should I do? I know, I'll make Madara more powerful. Oh, damn —" etc etc. So many sharks were jumped, so many. I really preferred Part 1 to Part 2. As the series progressed, it became more and more about...

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Sasukin Skywhiner

Okay, I'm past chapter 400, and my gosh, Sasuke is more annoying than Sakura now. He's even more annoying than Anakin, dammit. How does this whiner have such a big fanbase? Anyway, here is some general snark for what I've read so far.

Firstly, the Kakashi Gaiden:

chefs kiss

I actually spent £7 on Volume 27 just for this. Minato is the best thing about the series. He's such a cupcake! So wholesome! Dammit, Kishimoto.


Yah yes!

Also, I watched Tsunade's Infinite Tsukuyomi dream, and why do you do this to us, Kishimoto? Why?! Tsunade's tsukuyomi dream is forever my headcanon!

Anyway, on to the snark...

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Attempting to Fix Sakura Haruno – Part 2: The Actual Fix

Part 1: How did Sakura even qualify as a genin?

So just to clarify, it's been a loooong time since I watched/read Part 2 of Naruto, so this is just in the context of Part 1.

So the biggest problem with Part 1 Sakura is that she is 95% Sasuke-stalker, 5% self-absorbed brat. Let's start fixing this.

Our first proper introduction to Sakura is when she joins Team 7. Kakashi asks them to introduce themselves. Sasuke and Naruto answer as they originally did, and then it's Sakura's turn.

"My name is Sakura Haruno. Things I like... Well, I really like my best friend Ino, and my parrot, Mr Feathers," she says, with a big smile on her face. "My hobbies... Well, my dad is a master pastry chef, and on weekends--" She stops suddenly, remembering that both her team-mates are orphans. She looks over to Sasuke, who is looking into the distance, seemingly oblivious as usual. Naruto is just looking at her with a big goofy grin on his face. She hesitates a moment, then continues. "My dad teaches me how to make all kinds of fancy desserts, and my mum is a master woodworker, and she's teaching me how to carve traditional figurines."

"And things you dislike?" Kakashi prompts.

Sakura looks despondent for a moment. "What I dislike is that I'm really bad at both of them."

We see a still of her standing next to her burnt and misshapen pastries, and another of her next to a hideously deformed kimekomi doll. In the background though, we see the respective parent smiling proudly at their beloved daughter.

"That's why my dream is to be Continue reading →

How did Sakura Even Qualify as a Genin? Attempting to Fix Sakura Haruno

I used to be a big Naruto fan. I used to watch the anime, and my gosh, the flashbacks, the monologues, and the pointless explanations of what just happened, and then another character explaining what just happened again in case we forgot in those last 5 seconds. Holy carp. [Edit: Naruto Kai is a thing, but even with all the filler and padding removed, it still drags.] I got through some of Shippuden, and I then went on to the manga because the dubs were taking too long, but I didn't get all that far.

Anyway, I got a little fed up, because it seemed every story followed the same formula of: baddie does bad guy stuff, Naruto gives a pep talk, bad guy decides to be good. This must be where Dhar Mann got his formula from.

So I was watching Abridged recently, and it made me curious about what actually happened in canon, so I decided to start reading the manga from the beginning, because ain't no one got time for those flashbacks, yo. And boy, did I forget just how bad of a character Sakura is. I'm not just talking about her general uselessness throughout Part 1. Her whole character sucks. She is literally a terribly written character, and an awful role model for girls. Kishimoto writes females badly in general, but he really messed up with Sakura.

And I don't for one minute buy the excuse that he's "bad at writing good female characters". What a cop out. What an absolutely lazy, pathetic excuse for a cop out.

I've seen reports that he even said he didn't bother to improve Sakura as a character because the fans hated her anyway, and if that's true then feck off, Kishimoto. You don't get to blame the fans for your crappy writing.

Here's how you do it: write a good character. Make them female. That's it. That's all you have to do.

If Itachi and Sasuke were sisters, their character arcs would still be the same. Genderswap Naruto, Kakashi, Neji, any male character at all, and nothing would change but their appearance. They would still be well developed characters. So why can't he do the same for the female characters? Because I think in Kishimoto's mind, females are less than males. That's what I think anyway.

Kishimoto's guiding principle on writing female characters
Kishimoto's guiding principle on writing female characters. Continue reading →

Cosplay Time! + London Expo (Comicon) 2010 Pics

As promised, here is my little cosplay collection.

Itachi

First up, what was supposed to be Itachi's coat. I got this from Tokyo Toys @ Trocadero:

cosplay-itachinot

Only this is what Itachi's coat looks like, ie he can zip it up to the top:

itachi

And mine doesn't. I'm so sure the display one that I tried on was the proper one. They got this out the back and I never actually opened it until I got home.

cosplay-zetsu

Yeah, I'm sure it's him. Yeah, I was dressed as the freakin' Venus flytrap. Frickin' Zetsu.

Zetsu

Cost me £40 and a lot of regret. I actually want to sell this. I'm taking offers from anyone in the UK.

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Paint Packages, Adopted Brothers and MOAR Anime!

I've decided — I am not going to bother finishing Twilight Princess. As I said before, action games are not really to my taste, and anyway — I can haz new game!!! The game I am playing right now is called Faia Emburemu - Radiant Dawn. It's full of yummies!!

But seriously, it combines two of my favourite game genres ie RPG and strategy (my other fave is platformers - Commander Keen and Kid Icarus, yeah!). I'm playing on easy level since I've not played any previous titles, and I'm not doing too badly. I'm playing Ike's mercenaries at the moment (Oscar!! love Geoffrey! love And all the others! love). I've already killed Ike's sister twice.

What I am saying is, it's an awesome game.

The only thing that's spoiling it is something I read on a character profiles site, ie that Micaiah is going to marry Sothe who PS is her adopted brother. That's just... wrong.

Moving swiftly on, a friend recommended watching Naruto. Well technically, I asked her about it because I keep hearing that Continue reading →