I'm on Chapter 650-something, and this last arc is dragging on.
Sakura Still Sucks
No kidding, Sherlock.
I lied. I did save some more pixies of her crying.
I was really hoping that someone made a montage video of all the times Sakura needs the waaambulance, but no luck. Someone out there, DEW IT! Whoops, flashback!
"If anyone trieth to hang me, I'll thrceam and thcream and thcream till I'm thick! I can!"
Sakura is a Selfish, Manipulative Lying Liar Who Lies, Who Still Doesn't Have the Emotional Maturity Expected of a Ninja
Oh would you just feck off, Sakura. Seriously, what a horrible person she is. She knows how much Naruto cares about her, yet messes him around like this. So if Narutops didn't call her out on it, was she going to follow through? Or just be like "Psych! I just lied to manipulate you! Sasuke-kun! <3!" She is just such a rotten person.
It would have been so much better if what she said was actually genuine. It would have been great character growth for her. I mean, her words, had they been true, would have been really mature. As long as we remove the subtext of "consolation prize".
Kishimoto kept hinting at it. It would have been so much better. And I'm saying this as a Sakura-hater!
Sakura is a Dumb Bint
Gosh! You reckon?!
She's worse than useless. She's a liability!
Goddammit, Sakura!
I need that "Shut the hell up, you stalker" scene from Abridged. He literally just tried to kill you. You don't "have someone", unless you mean you have someone you are disturbingly obsessed with. What even is wrong with this woman?! Kishimoto, I worry about you.
Nothing to do with your sex. Everything to do with your track record.
TEAM MINATO!
Minato is awesome. I don't think I could get through the whole story without the occasional dose of his wholesomeness!
Yes! Yes I did!
Kawaii!
Dammit, Kishimoto! Why couldn't we get a prequel series instead of Boruto?
Everyone gangsta till Minato puts on his haori.
That's it, Naruto! You're getting a time-out.
I kinda wanna see this AU.
Goddammit, Sakura!
She finally did something! Only took her 650 chapters, but okay! Gotta take our wins where we can!
Sasuke is Still Annoying
I mean, how is it that I'm rooting for Danzo here? Come on, Kishimoto! Naruto should really have made more of a big deal about the time Sasuke was willing to sacrifice himself to save Naruto during the Zabuza arc. That would have been his "There is good in him, I know it" moment. I keep drawing these parallels with Star Wars, because Kishimoto is recycling the same tropes. But how is it that I root more for Vader (who oversaw the genocide of an entire planet) to be redeemed than Sasukin?
Kishimoto really should have got us to see Sasukin's turmoil and inner conflict, but all I see is a whiny emo boy. Even the explanation about Uchiha love being so intense, it drives them to homicidal tendencies didn't help: I still think Sasukin is a whiny emo boy. I'm still relieved he got over it, not because I wanted him to be redeemed, but because Kishimoto was obviously never going to kill him off, so it was the only way to stop the whining.
Dew it.
I wanna know what Sasukin watches on his TV.
Emo 100% achieved! What a freakin' crybaby! Waa waa, like no one has ever suffered more than you!
Word.
Okay, Someone Did Think of It
I did wonder! But it was also explained later that killing them is only temporary, and so it's better to keep them and have them under control. I like it when things make sense!
I really like Killer Bee! He deserves his own series!
Cee is awesome, too! He needs more screentime!
Kishimoto remembered that Tenten exists.
I like the tsuchikage! MOAR PLZ!
Dude, Shikamaru's copping a feel :O
Just stop with the misogyny, Shikamaru, will you? He doesn't let up!
That's My — Wait
No, that's not the one.
Hol' up —
Karin
RED FLAG RED FLAG
Don't you let me down, girl!
No, no, don't you do this to me...
Dammit, Karin!
Just a reminder of what a good friend Ino is.
I want more of this!
Go, go, Kage Rangers!
My Boy Itachi
No, Itachi, that's the Kishimoto school of cop-outs. You can do better. Try again.
Meh.
I wish they had kept all the honorifics. That's a big problem with Viz. They localise things too much. I wish Del Rey had got the rights to this, as they are better at keeping this stuff in. Same with Naruto's "ttebayo". They had to start tacking "you know" onto his sentences out of nowhere when Bee came up with it, and again when Kushina appeared. But it made no sense as he never had a catch phrase before. At least in the anime, they added the "believe it". Unless you're watching a sub, because they remove all that stuff too. So Kisame uses a random "san" and I think I caught a stray "senpai" somewhere?
Link, is that you?
The very definition of a toxic friendship.
Dammit, Sasuke! The only reason I'm giving you a pass for this is because we get MOAR Minato! And shodaime is hilarious! And very cool.
Call the cops, kids!
I Am Underwhelmed
Sorry. I'm just not feeling it. I imagine in the anime, there's going to be some dramatic music here, and we should all be like "YEAH! TEAM 7 IS BACK!", but I am decidedly underwhelmed. It doesn't help that I hate 2/3 of the trio, and the other 1/3 is still in time-out for punching ma boi Minato.
Well, I'm on the home stretch. There's a 50% chance the war is going to conclude with a pep-talk jutsu.
I'm in, Tobi. Where do I sign up?