CONTENT WARNING FOR BLOOD/NEEDLE PHOBIA
It's been a long time since I blogged. I got my Moriah post up, but I didn't even get round to posting about my Dodgers winning the World Series. I've just been lazy.
In the meantime, I finally got CBT for my blood test phobia!
I started this at the point of being so scared that even being told I had to have a blood test made me have a panic attack. On the first session, I listed my fears:
Then we talked about my previous experiences and how I felt dizzy and nauseated after my first blood test and that gave me the expectation that this will always happen. At the end of the session, we did some exposure therapy and I was able to force myself to look at photos of blood tests. I would normally feel dizzy and sick. At first I was crying and panicky, but the therapist was really good at calming me down.
For my homework, I was meant to keep looking at these images (I printed them out and put them in places around the house where I'd have to see them). She also sent me links to blood test videos. But when I tried to watch one with Akan, I just started freaking out and had to stop. So at the second session, my therapist walked me through it and I was able to watch the whole thing.
By the third session, I was ready to actually do a practice draw! It took 45 mins of psyching myself up. That morning, I was having a little freak out, because I knew today was the day. I could have said I'm not ready, but I didn't want this hanging over me for another 6 weeks. I had her put the fan on me and told her not to tell me when she's going to put the needle in. She tried putting the baseball on for me, but I was still too scared. I asked if she could just put the needle in, then take it straight out again, so my brain has a reference of how it feels, but without the chance to panic as it would be over straight away. So she did and it wasn't as bad as I thought. I think I let out a little "Oh my goodness!" It just felt like a little pin prick.
So back to psyching myself up for an actual draw. I'd brought my Tamagotchi Uni with me and I told my therapist I was going to play that while she took the blood. Again I asked her to not tell me when she's going to start. I tried sending my Tama on a date, but the draw was over before I even got to choose a date for him! It actually hurts more when the needle comes out, but then of course it's all over!
I was soooo glad I did it. I faced my fear and now if I get another cancer scare, I don't have to bury my head in the sand, because I'm so scared of the needles.
After that, I was able to get the test the doctor prescribed for me! That nurse had no time for my crap. I told her I was still a bit scared, but she didn't even acknowledge it. I got my Tama out, didn't evet get as far as choosing a date, and the test was done.
And luckily, the only issue it found was that my Vitamin D was a bit on the low side and I need to take a supplement. So in conclusion, if you have a needle phobia, do see what help is available in your area!