Translator's Notes: Larry uses the word yomikaki which means reading and writing, as in having the skill. Maya then uses the word dokusho, which I think means just reading in general. I translated it as "literature" to make Larry's next line work, even though it's not an accurate translation. I am also stumped at Maya suddenly bringing up Nagoya out of nowhere. Larry has a very casual, rough way of speaking that I'm just not familiar with, so there is a lot of guesswork on his lines.
Episode 3 — November 2004 Issue
Takushuu Column — Autumn of..?
"Everyone can enjoy it!" ...That's the column's one fast rule. However. Is that really enough? "No one can enjoy it" ...Such a column would be good, wouldn't it?
So this time, using "autumn of reading" as my excuse, being about "mystery" and being super self-centred, I think I'll narrate a personal story.
...I've been obsessed with the detective genre for ages. It's been over 20 years since I first came across "The Psychological Test" by Edogawa Ranpo in my primary school days. The works that I reached out for on my own volition tended to be exclusively this type of book, for some strange reason.
So now, a story that doesn't have a surprise twist at the end is something I can't take.
...If it happens like this, my mood is somewhat different from "I like this".
If I recall, [Arthur Conan] Doyle, [Ellery] Queen, [John Dickson] Carr... there were these classic works from the foreign "Golden Age", my childhood days were packed to the rafters with these fresh surprises, still unknown to me.
The famous Sherlock Holmes, Arsène Lupin, Akechi Kogorou... I'm sure you all have heard of at least some of these names.
My childhood heroes, going a little deeper, were Father Brown, A Aichirou, the attorney Randolph Mason, and I knew Holmes, but I thought his first name was Shurock.
The way I set up the Ace Attorney stories, and the way I compose the writing, I learnt it all from them.
As far as I'm concerned, mysteries should always have that "surprise twist". In more recent years, contemporary Japanese mysteries have forgotten about new surprises, and are right in the middle of a winter era.
... But some day, I dream of a "Golden Age" returning to us once more. In the meantime, I'll frown upon these strange works, in the long autumn nights of these times.
Well then, see you next month!
Outtake Theatre
Prosecutor Godot vs Phoenix Wright
This time, we introduce some "exchanges" that were cut from the courtroom. Can you guess what scene it's from? (—Takumi)
Phoenix: Objection! What if they're innocent? If I were blackmailed, I wouldn't pay either!
Godot: Hold up. You can't measure the person by your own yardstick.
Phoenix: B-But! It was tens of millions of yen!
Godot: Somehow your ruler is marked in inches.
Judge: I don't think I would pay it either.
Godot: It appears your ruler is marked in "shaku" [~30cm intervals].
Atmey: If you were a hero from a romantic novel, you would pay with a smile on your face.
Godot: Huh. I'd be reluctant to do such a thing. I'm a "centimetre" kind of man.
Phoenix: (How long is this going to go on for?)
Letters Corner
• I ended up buying the magazine just because of the Naruhodo Gyakuten Saiban! column. Because of this corner, I think I'll continue to buy it! (Silver Frog, Tokyo Metropolis)
~ Thank you so much! Please try to read the other pages too (casual plug!).
• In both episodes 1 and 2, Phoenix's face is so grim, so I'd like Suekane-san to draw a smiling Nick. I also want to see Franziska in the waitress uniform! (Akatsuki, unknown)
~ The image of Phoenix at a cliff edge suits him well. I suppose that's why he always seems to be at his wits' end? I'd also like to see him smiling for a change! Maybe next issue?
Autumn of..? — At the Wright & Co. Law Offices
The warm summer is over, and autumn has arrived. As usual, after a while, we go to Phoenix and Maya's place to check how things are going. And it looks like that guy is here again!
Maya: Hello, everyone! This episode's theme is "autumn"!
Phoenix: When I think of autumn, I think of things like "autumn of art", or "autumn appetite", or "autumn of sports".
Maya: Well, to start with, that's too greedy! It's not Nagoya's speciality [I don't get this bit].
Phoenix: What, you're losing your temper already?
Maya: "Arts" and "sports" are just generic things. "Appetite" is different, I suppose.
Phoenix: Huh?
If you think of appetite, don't you think of Maya?!
Huh?
Maya: I'm going to eat sweet rice jelly, miso cutlets and chicken wings, all smothered in mayonnaise!
Phoenix: Well, it doesn't really matter. Don't we have a guest coming over today, as well?
Maya: Oh yeah, an ideal guest for this season.
Yo! Long time no see, Nick!
Maya: When you think of "autumn of art", it has to be this person! It's Larry Butz!
Phoenix: For sure, his mere existence is a kind of art.
Art? That's how it goes, you put mayonnaise on something and it ends up getting fed to the dog!
Phoenix: No, if we put mayo on anything, Maya will eat it.
Maya: What the heck?
Phoenix: Well then, if it's not "art", what is your autumn about?
Larry: I've decided on "autumn of learning to read and write"!
L-Learning to read and write?
Larry: You can already see I'm fluent in Japanese, so if I said "learning to read and write", I obviously meant English, yo.
Phoenix: English? You?
Maya: Hang on, just before that. Then it's "autumn of literature", isn't it?
Larry: "Literature"? That's not even a real word, Maya.
. . . I just got shut down in the most eloquent way, Nick.
Phoenix: What can you do? This guy's Japanese is perfect.
Maya: But, but, Larry, why English?
Larry: Oh! It's because my girlfriend is no good at Japanese.
Phoenix: Your girlfriend? . . . She isn't from abroad by any chance?
Oooh! That's wonderful! Love across the borders!
Larry: Well. She's gone to Sri Lanka for a photo shoot. So I can't actually see her at the moment.
Phoenix: So it's another model, then?
Maya: You keep giving your English studies your all!
I'll do it, yo! For the sake of my Nuribilge-chan!
Maya: Huh? Who?
Larry: Nuribilge-chan.
Hearing that name, somehow I don't think learning English will be all that useful.
Larry: Dude, Nick. I don't know of any good English teachers.
Phoenix: Well, I know of one person. Shall I introduce you to her?
Larry: For real? My cutie-pie is depending on me, you know!
Phoenix: Oh, sure. She'll definitely drill the knowledge into you... with her whip.