This page involved a lot of word play, which I found hard to convert to English. The game they are playing is "Old Maid". In Japanese, it's called Babanuki, which is written ババ抜き and means something like "extract/pull out the old maid". This is the reason for Gumshoe's logic for why he is the winner.
Gumshoe's concept for the year is "念には念を" which means something like "be doubly sure", and I translated more figuratively as "always be prepared". The character used, 念, is read "nen", and pops up later when Pearl tries to recite her proverb.
Gumshoe also makes a play on the phrase "sore loser". In Japanese, the word is 負けず嫌い (makezu girai) which literally means something like "without losing, hates". When Phoenix calls him this, Gumshoe then uses a word play on 食わず嫌い (kuwazu girai), which means a person who hates a food that they've never even tasted ("without eating, hates").
Pearl is trying to use a Japanese proverb 馬の耳に念仏 (uma no mimi ni nenbutsu), which means "reading the nenbutsu (prayer) into a horse's ear", equivalent to the English, "It's like talking to a brick wall". However instead she says 馬の耳に . . . てんねんきねんぶつ which means "into the horse's ear, protected species/natural monument". I tried my best to come up with a similar wordplay in English that also includes Gummi's earlier 念 (preparation), but it feels a little awkward!
"Happy New Year" in Japanese is written 賀正 (gashou). Gumshoe writes the first character in kana (が正), possibly because the first character is harder to write (although he should be able to).
Also, Ema Skye: you gross.
Episode 17 — January 2006 Issue
Takumi Snippet
Takumi Shuu (??)
Ace Attorney's director and scriptwriter. It's rumoured his fuel is alcohol.
Status: ...The production of Ace Attorney 4 has launched! I wonder how things will go from this. And so the new year has arrived at the Wright & Co. Law Offices.
Letters Corner
• Last month's issue had a good story. I especially loved the illustration of Mia holding the admission slip, complete with a charm! She's such a good master! (Ayaka, Tokyo Metropolis)
• I always have fun [reading this]. I couldn't get to the Tokyo Gameshow, so I was really glad to get the DVD with last month's issue. (Pochi, Saitama Prefecture)
• "Tokyo Game Show Special Court" was the best!! I was so happy, I was jumping up and down! (Youkei, Hyougo Prefecture)
New Year's — At the Wright & Co. Law Offices
We're at the end of the year. At the Wright & Co. Law Offices, they're one step ahead in welcoming in the new year. It looks like everyone is enjoying a noisy game of cards?!
Maya: Well, there are two cards left. Right or left? It's make or break time!
Gumshoe: Ha! I have the "GummiSense"! Which should I choose? Left!
Maya: Yes! You got the Old Maid card! And now it's my—
Gumshoe: Woohoo! I got a set of old maids! I'm pulling the last card, pal!
Wha.
Ha ha! The new year's only started and I already got a big reversal in my fortune!
Phoenix: H-hang on a sec. Why are there two old maids?
Gumshoe: For me, this year's concept is "always be prepared", pal!
Phoenix: Wha?
Gumshoe: In order to be prepared, I mixed one more old maid card into the deck!
Phoenix: Hey, that's against the rules!
Maya: Yeah, that's a foul, Gumshoe!
If you'll just let me speak!
Uh.
Gumshoe: To start with, the rules are kinda dumb, pal.
Phoenix: What are you talking about?
Gumshoe: The name of the game... tell me what it is, pal.
Phoenix: It's "Old Maid", right?
Gumshoe: For example, if you are out gathering strawberries, you call it "strawberry gathering", right, pal?
Maya: Well, yes, that sounds right.
Gumshoe: So if that's the case, the person who pulls out the old maid card is the winner, pal!
Maya: Well, when you put it like that...
You're a surprisingly sore loser, Detective Gumshoe.
If you'll just let me speak!
Uh.
Gumshoe: To start with, the meaning of "sore loser" is kinda dumb, pal!
Phoenix: W-what is it this time?
Gumshoe: So for example, if someone's never eaten a certain food, you call them a "fussy eater". Isn't that right, pal?!
Maya: Well, yes, that sounds right.
Gumshoe: So this "sore loser" who doesn't know the taste of defeat is the true winner!
Well, when you put it like that...
Gumshoe: Hooahhh! I'm on a rampage! From now on, I feel I could even take on Prosecutor Edgeworth, pal!
Phoenix: Who did this? Someone's served Wild Turkey to Detective Gumshoe.
Pearl: I-it was me. Did I do something wrong?
Phoenix: In this world, there are people who go on wild rampages when they drink. You have to be careful.
Pearl: Ohhhh. I'm sorry.
Maya: Well, never mind. Let's eat the satsumas that Gumshoe brought. You too, Nick.
Phoenix: Ah, thanks.
Maya: As usual, when it comes to New Year's celebrations, while eating mochi, we'll have satsumas, and while pecking at our New Year's meal, we'll watch TV, and then we'll play Old Maid again one more time.
You don't need to hold back, pal! I sent over food from my parents' house! So much food that it'll rot before we can finish it all!
Phoenix: Whoa! Is this satsuma already rotten?
Gumshoe: What are you saying, pal?! Over-ripe fruit is delicious!
Phoenix: Huh?
Gumshoe: We're human after all! Of course, I'm no exception!
Phoenix: Oh no, these are completely rotten!
Gumshoe: What are you on about, pal! I can still eat them... from now on!
Phoenix: I'm talking about the satsumas!
Gumshoe: Instead of talking about the satsumas, let's talk about ME, pal!
Phoenix: Good grief. There's no use trying to get any sense out of him like this.
Maya: Hmm, how does that proverb go?
Ah, I've been studying those playing cards with proverbs on them.
Ah! It's finally coming! Little Snippet's pearls of knowledge!
It's the other way round, Maya.
Pearl: Let's see. "It's like talking to a brick wallpaper preparation".
Maya: Oh, you did really well there, Pearly!
Phoenix: You should have stopped at "wall". You kind of went on a little too far.
Gumshoe: "Preparation" is such a great word, pal! This year's concept is "always be prepared", pal!
Phoenix: That'll do.
Pearl: He he he! This year's New Year's celebration is already so weird!
Maya: Oh, speaking of which, our New Year's cards have arrived. This one's from Ema Skye.
Phoenix: Cool! Wait, it's just blank inside. And strangely warped.
Pearl: It is strange, isn't it? Almost as if someone washed it with water...
Phoenix: Oh! No, I think I know. Hang on. Pass it here a sec.
Pearl: Waaah! The characters for "Happy New Year" are appearing!"
Maya: What is this? It's that magic spray!
Phoenix: It's the Luminol reagent Ema gave me. It's a chemical that reacts to blood.
Maya: Whoa. She's a scientist through and through, just as you'd expect!
Pearl: I respect her so much!
Phoenix: Never mind that. Whose blood do you suppose she wrote it with?
Maya: Oh, here's Gumshoe's New Year's card!
Pearl: It says "HAPPY NEW YEAR" in really big letters!
Phoenix: I had no idea that when writing it in hiragana, the greetings would be halved to this extent.
Maya: Whoa, look! On the back of the card, there's a lottery ticket as a New Year's gift!
Pearl: "May your ticket be a winning one!" it says. It's in really big letters!
Phoenix: Please stop. If we won, I'd be so embarrassed to go to the post office to cash this in.
Gumshoe: Well, not me, anyway! This year's concept is "always be prepared", pal!
Pearl: But we don't really get to affect the lottery results, do we?
Gumshoe: The Preparation Card is loaded with preparations, pal! Ha ha ha!
Phoenix: . . . That's your punchline?
Well, let's all just get along really well this year at the Wright & co Law Offices!
This year for sure, let's go with the office's concept of New Year's Day!