My old review was a bit of an incoherent mess, so I've fixed it up, and also FIXED THE PREQUELS. You're welcome! Okay, so there are things about the prequels I hate that others seemed to like, and vice versa, so all I can say is I've fixed the prequels to my taste. Okay, here we go!

We'll start with the things I liked.

The Good

Qui-Gon Jinn

Okay, so I did mention in my other post that I enjoyed Episode I. It was good. I especially loved Qui-Gon, he's just such a wholesome character, probably my favourite Jedi. I really like the idea of a chaotic good Jedi.

The Memes

I really only watched it for the memes.

The World-Building

I loved how much more fleshed out the Star Wars universe became. Even if others didn't like the politics, I really loved that side of it. A big complaint I had about the OT was that we didn't get to see what life was like for those living under the Empire (remember, Tatooine was ruled by the Hutts, the Empire hadn't bothered with it just yet). So for me, the world-building of the prequels really brought the whole galaxy to life. It's still stupid that every planet only has one biome (Tatooine = all desert, Hoth = all tundra, Naboo = all beautiful temperate forest, Dagobah = all swamp, etc etc), and though it does bug me that they all have Earth-gravity, I do get the limitations of filming, so I'll give them a pass on the gravity issue.

Now onto the things I didn't like. Plus, I'm fixing them to make them more appealing to me. For the record, this is not the same as my alternate universe headcanon, which uses Episode IV's original plot as a starting point. This is just my fix for the official canon prequels. Now really, buckle up, it's a long ride! Continue reading →

I've been looking at these for a while. Since I don't really have anything else to spend all my savings on, I decided I may as well treat myself and indulge my fangirlism. I bought the Luke Dagobah figure (it seems there is... another version of this also that has Yoda and the backpack, but it was unavailable when I was shopping). Its face sculpt seemed the best out of the ESB Lukes, otherwise I would have got the Bespin Luke. Impressed by the quality, I decided to buy the other two Skywalkers. Leia is TINY next to Vader.

Anyway. I have lots of photos. Lots and lots of photos. Enjoy!

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Project 4K77 is a restoration project of the original cinematic cut of Star Wars (now Episode IV). I was really curious about it, so I found a copy, which took me a full 4 days to download and the resulting 24GB file was too big for my old netbook to handle, so I spent another 3 days trying to burn it to DVD, which failed, but I did get a working 4.2GB VOB file, so eventually I got to watch it! I've since put it through HandBrake to get a 720p at 3.98GB. And yes, it took literally days.

My computer is so slow!

The image quality was really good. One thing that stood out the most was Luke's hair colour was consistent. It bothered me on the DVD release that his hair would range from honey blond to dark brown from scene to scene. In this one, his hair colour stays within the honey blond range. Comparing the DVD to 4K77 side by side, you can really see the difference.

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Okay, I did it. I'm not sure if I'm glad I watched the prequels or not. I will say that I really enjoyed Rogue One; I'd say it's right up there with the OT (you see, DisneyLucasfilm, you can produce quality films when you try).

Rogue One was a little confusing at the start. I wasn't quite sure what was going on and who was who, but that might be partly because I was sold a defective disc, so it kept skipping for many scenes early on. But once I got past that, I found the characters interesting, and the storyline compelling — even though I knew the Death Star plans would make it to Leia.

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So I gave in to the temptation, and finally watched the original Star Wars trilogy! I got the first DVD release edition. It still has some of the extra stupid CGI additions, but not as much as later releases. Only problem was, it did not want to work on Windoze 7! Darned copy-protection! After 2 hours of tinkering, I worked out that you need VLC Player, plus Make MKV and then go to Make MKV's options and select the VLC option and it should work like a dream!

I don't get why they felt the need to cheesecake the characters?! [Edit: I see it's from the original movie poster. Still pointless cheesecake though.]

I also find it interesting that these are all rated Universal, but Toy Story is PG? Tiny ended up getting nightmares about the Wampa in Episode V. I forgot to censor it on her second viewing :O

Tiny thinks "Daft Vader" looks really cute on the cover of VI. She thinks he looks even cuter than Luke, and that's really saying something (she absolutely fangirls Luke Skywalker, he's her favourite and best). Anyway, I can sort of see what she means. The highlights on his eyes kinda chibify his mask a bit in this shot!

Anyway, that's enough of that.

I'm going to say first of all, I did enjoy the films. They kept me gripped from beginning to end. Although RotJ did seem to drag a little during the Endor scenes.

But there are things that, in my own opinion, could have been better. Namely:

1. Not enough world-building
2. Not enough character development
3. Too many badly cobbled together retcons

Obviously, spoilers to follow!

This is a thing that bugs me: the deleted scene with Biggs and Luke,

besides missing out on the chance to make that moisture-farmers' hat iconic, addressed the first two points more than any other scene in the trilogy. This is just a personal thing for me, but I like a story to have a mix of plot and character development. I like to know what drives a character to make the decisions they do, I want to know the thoughts behind their actions, I want to get to know them as people. Sadly for me, it seemed the characters were, for the most part, completely plot-centric. For example, when Han decides to join the resistance, I was like "Yay!" but also "Why?" What made him go from being totally mercenary and only caring about saving his own skin to putting another target on his head by joining the rebellion? Because of Leia? But why? I'm sure he wouldn't be short of female attention, why would he risk everything just cos the girl is pwetty? Even so, out of the human cast, Han does seem to have the most developed personality (out of all the cast, it's easily C-3PO and R2).

Leia is Generic Strong Female No.1, and Luke, well, Luke is just a good guy. He has character traits (ever the optimist, and going from naive in ANH to a wise Jedi in RotJ), but nothing really to show he has a life outside the films' plot. Yet in the deleted scene, you actually see more of his hinterland. You see he has friends, he has a best friend Biggs, he has a sense of humour, he is fascinated by the rebellion against the Empire (and if you read the novelisation, he also used to have a puppy).

You also get more world-building in that scene than you do in the rest of the trilogy. That one scene brought out the whole galaxy-wide resentment of the Empire, the inevitability of the Empire conquering everything, Luke's desire to join the rebellion, and just how frustrated he is being stuck on Tatooine. I actually got a feel of what it was like living under the Empire. You see glimpses of it in other scenes, but this one brought it out the most vividly. I just don't get why they cut that. It could easily have been inserted before the sunset scene, after all, Luke did mention wanting to visit Tosche Station when Owen was buying the droids. Or even, if it really did mess up the flow so much, it could have been added to the DVD as a bonus scene.

People want different things from a film, and I just would have preferred more "Show, not tell" from it.

Okay point 3, the retconning. Yeah, Lucas got lucky with his "I am your father" retcon, but also not that much. It's obvious that in New Hope, Lucas did have Anakin as dead, literally killed by Vader. Pay attention to the wording used by Ben.

"A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi Knights. He betrayed and murdered your father."

None of it makes sense if he knew that Darth was Anakin all along. It's just way too specific, plus it makes Obi-Wan an outright liar. Anakin is at this point still a goodie. A dead one, granted, but still a goodie.

Also: "Your father wanted you to have this [his lightsaber]." Your father who didn't know you existed? Nooooo.

He even calls Vader "Darth" when they fight on the Death Star. "Only a master of evil, Darth."

Obvious retcon is obvious.

Owen and Beru's "He's getting more and more like his father" conversation also doesn't make sense in the context of Anakin turning evil. It only makes sense in the context of Anakin going off on "damned fool idealistic crusades" with Obi-Wan and getting himself killed, and Luke looking like he's going the same way. No sign they're worried that Luke is going to turn to the dark side! Plus if Luke is meant to be hiding away from his now evil dad, why does he still have the name Skywalker, make no attempt to hide this, live with his step-family (if they were even step-family at this point and not blood-family) and Red Leader knew Anakin and knew that he had a son! RETCON!

Okay, I know this was probably obvious to everyone who watched the classic trilogy, but apparently there are some people who still think Lucas had this plot twist planned all along. It's ridiculous!

Then there's the retcons caused by the prequels: one that stands out is Leia having a memory of their birth mother, but this is retconned in the prequel where their mother dies in childbirth.

In my Legendary Yoda book, it says Yoda didn't want to train Anakin as a Jedi as, at 10 years old, he was too old, but then he trains Luke, a grown man! And he also completes his training in what seems like days!

Yes, I'm the kind of person who can't see the forest for the trees. None of these things stopped me from enjoying the films, but they do still bug me. So I'm replacing badly-retconned canon with headcanon. [Actually, I've been meaning to re-write this to include Nellith, but I still haven't got round to it.]

Anakin Skywalker and his twin brother Darth Skywalker were Jedi-in-training, students of Obi-Wan Kenobi. While Anakin was compliant and co-operative, Darth always had more of an independent streak, questioning things more than his more docile twin, wanting to follow the Jedi principles of spreading truth and justice, but wanting to do it on his own terms. However, they were both very close, and followed similar paths in life.

While Jedi were dissuaded from marrying, it was not forbidden. Darth, being a bit of a rebel, married publicly, whereas Anakin kept his marriage hidden, even from his own brother, as he saw it as a sign of his lack of discipline; being a good Jedi who followed the rules was very important to him.

Therefore, when his wife fell pregnant, he sent her to Tatooine to live with his sister, Beru Skywalker, and Beru's husband Owen Lars. Things were getting dangerous now that the Separatists had declared outright war, and he wanted her and his unborn child to be safe. Plus his brother Darth had started to show worrying signs of moving away from the Light side. Anakin knew he'd made the right decision in hiding his marriage. Worried about Darth's behaviour, he confided in his master, Obi-Wan. He revealed that he and his wife were expecting a child, and that should anything happen to him, he would like Kenobi to watch over his child, and train the child in the ways of the Jedi once it was old enough. He handed over his lightsaber, entrusting it to Kenobi until he felt the time was right to pass it on.

Meanwhile, Darth was succumbing to the Dark side. His parents were killed, his home planet ravaged, and his Jedi comrades were falling one by one. As his wife was fleeing their home planet, the refugee ship she was on was attacked and destroyed. She was pregnant at the time, and Darth was demented with grief, losing both his wife and his unborn child in one blow. He wondered what good fighting for justice, and being a goodie-goodie like his brother, actually was. His bitterness increased, and the fall wasn't hard. He renounced the Skywalker name, henceforth calling himself Darth Vader.

But Darth's wife had survived the attack: she and a few others managed to get to an escape pod in time. She reached the safety of Alderaan, where she was taken in by a noble family. She hid her real identity, and never let them know that she was the wife of a fallen Jedi. She gave birth to a daughter, Leia.

Meanwhile on Tatooine, Anakin's wife gave birth to a boy, whom she named Luke. Sadly, she died shortly after giving birth, and the child was adopted by his aunt and uncle.

Leia's mother died when Leia was 4 years old. The couple who had offered them sanctuary were childless, and since they had no way of tracing any family for the girl, they adopted her and raised her as their own, even bestowing the title of princess on her.

Anakin and Obi-Wan tried to get Darth back to the Light side, but it was no use. The fall was complete. Obi-Wan and Anakin fought in vain; Anakin losing his life to the twin brother he had loved all his life.

Obi-Wan fled to Tatooine, changing his name to Ben. Hoping to be able to pass on his training to Anakin's son, he was surprised to find Owen and Beru not allowing him any access to their nephew; if it weren't for Kenobi, they said, the child would at least have one parent. They told him to stay away from Luke, and forbade him to mention any nonsense about Jedi. They concocted a story about Anakin being a navigator on a spice freighter, if Luke ever asked.

When Luke was 19, his R2 droid led him to Ben Kenobi, who told him the truth about his father, that he was betrayed and murdered by a student of his, Darth Vader. He told him about the Jedi, and handed him his father's lightsaber. Luke was intrigued, and was curious about the rebellion, but his uncle's brainwashing served its purpose. Like his father before him, Luke had a tendency to be compliant.

After Owen and Beru were murdered by Stormtroopers, Luke joined the rebellion, having no idea that the enemy was his own uncle.

When Darth heard a 19 year old Skywalker was among the rebels — one that seemed to be Force-sensitive too! — he felt certain that his wife and child had somehow survived the attack. This, then, was his son! He was determined to find his child that he was so sure he'd lost, and maybe even his wife! Together, they would join him on the Dark side, and his family would be complete.

---

Luke and Darth eventually have a showdown: Darth proclaims that he is the father of Luke, who can't believe it's true. Later, when he meets Kenobi's Force ghost on Dagobah, Kenobi insists that he did not lie: Anakin was dead, slain at the hands of Darth. Luke is confused: why did Darth tell him that he was his father? Kenobi reveals something: Darth was once also a Skywalker, the brother of Anakin. He wasn't aware that Darth's wife was pregnant, but putting the pieces together, it would seem that maybe Darth's wife did survive the attack on the refugee ship over 20 years ago, and Darth could have fathered a child. The question is, what happened to that child? Did it and its mother survive? If so, where are they now?

Luke sets out to find out what happened to his missing aunt and cousin. Plus, if his cousin was Force-sensitive, another Jedi would be a great asset to the cause. A chance conversation with Leia reveals that she was adopted, and that her birth mother died when she was a toddler. Luke probes: does she know more about her mother's history? Leia's memory of her birth mother is hazy, but her description matches what Kenobi had told him about Darth's wife. Was this his missing cousin? Should he tell her? How would she react, knowing that the man she despises above all others, the man who allowed her planet to be destroyed, is her father? What if he's wrong?

Luke is burdened by his secret. He manages to find people who knew more about the escape pod that made it to Alderaan. Discussing it with Kenobi's Force ghost, he is sure now that Leia is the missing child of Darth. He decides that for his father's sake, and his cousin's, he must get Darth back to the Light side. Before confronting Darth, he reveals to Leia the story of their family. Leia is heartbroken, but in a way, maybe she knew all along that there was a connection there; she just didn't want to confront it. Leia tries to dissuade him: how can he succeed where even his father failed, and even if he could, how could Leia ever forgive Darth for all the suffering he's caused? But Luke's mind is made up: there is some good there, he knows it. He'll find it, and Darth can finally get to know his daughter. Leia isn't sure, but she can see that Luke has made his decision. As he's about to leave, she stops him. If he does succeed, she tells him quietly, let Darth know that she'd like to see him.

Luke and Darth showdown for the final time. Luke reveals to Darth that he isn't his son, but Anakin's, and he knows where Darth's daughter is. Luke tells Darth he will succeed for his father's sake, for the sake of his mother, his aunt, and his cousin. For Obi-Wan, Owen, Beru, Biggs. As he fights his nephew, Darth remembers in flashes what it was like to love, rather than hate. He remembers what it was like to be surrounded by a family, to feel safe, to feel at peace. He realises he has a family again: a daughter and a nephew. But no — that is weakness. He's made a choice, and he will follow it through, even if it means losing his family once again.

But seeing Luke cry out in pain when Palpatine attacks him with Force Lightning, the memories get stronger. Anakin, his wife, his parents, his teacher. Family, love, happiness. He wants those things back. His heart breaks seeing his nephew suffer. He remembers the suffering he caused to his beloved brother Anakin, and his heart is rent asunder. He has a chance to put things right, he has a chance to fill the void in his soul. Darth makes a choice, and finally, Luke succeeds where his father failed. Darth has returned to the Light side.

Darth uses the last of his strength to dispose of Palpatine, but he is badly injured, he will not live to see his daughter. Luke tells him it's Leia — Leia is his missing child. Darth smiles, glad to know that his child survived, and proud of what she grew up to be. Luke looks upon Darth's face, tells him that Leia wanted to see him if he returned. Darth says he too, wishes he could say a final goodbye to his daughter, and Darth passes in Luke's arms.

Headcanon FTW! I'm not saying this is better than the canon, it's just an alternate take on what could have happened if Lucas stuck to his original story. I just wish the canon plot wasn't so shoddily retconned, that's all! Edit: After I found out about Nellith, I planned on reworking this to include her, but I don't know when I'll get round to it. I have no plans to watch the other trilogies, as I'm not sure my head won't explode from all the other retcons. I did end up watching the prequels, and they were bad, but also pretty fun.