Category Archives: Random Randomness

Attempting to Fix Sakura Haruno – Part 2: The Actual Fix

Part 1: How did Sakura even qualify as a genin?

So just to clarify, it's been a loooong time since I watched/read Part 2 of Naruto, so this is just in the context of Part 1.

So the biggest problem with Part 1 Sakura is that she is 95% Sasuke-stalker, 5% self-absorbed brat. Let's start fixing this.

Our first proper introduction to Sakura is when she joins Team 7. Kakashi asks them to introduce themselves. Sasuke and Naruto answer as they originally did, and then it's Sakura's turn.

"My name is Sakura Haruno. Things I like... Well, I really like my best friend Ino, and my parrot, Mr Feathers," she says, with a big smile on her face. "My hobbies... Well, my dad is a master pastry chef, and on weekends--" She stops suddenly, remembering that both her team-mates are orphans. She looks over to Sasuke, who is looking into the distance, seemingly oblivious as usual. Naruto is just looking at her with a big goofy grin on his face. She hesitates a moment, then continues. "My dad teaches me how to make all kinds of fancy desserts, and my mum is a master woodworker, and she's teaching me how to carve traditional figurines."

"And things you dislike?" Kakashi prompts.

Sakura looks despondent for a moment. "What I dislike is that I'm really bad at both of them."

We see a still of her standing next to her burnt and misshapen pastries, and another of her next to a hideously deformed kimekomi doll. In the background though, we see the respective parent smiling proudly at their beloved daughter.

"That's why my dream is to be Continue reading →

How did Sakura Even Qualify as a Genin? Attempting to Fix Sakura Haruno

I used to be a big Naruto fan. I used to watch the anime, and my gosh, the flashbacks, the monologues, and the pointless explanations of what just happened, and then another character explaining what just happened again in case we forgot in those last 5 seconds. Holy carp. [Edit: Naruto Kai is a thing, but even with all the filler and padding removed, it still drags.] I got through some of Shippuden, and I then went on to the manga because the dubs were taking too long, but I didn't get all that far.

Anyway, I got a little fed up, because it seemed every story followed the same formula of: baddie does bad guy stuff, Naruto gives a pep talk, bad guy decides to be good. This must be where Dhar Mann got his formula from.

So I was watching Abridged recently, and it made me curious about what actually happened in canon, so I decided to start reading the manga from the beginning, because ain't no one got time for those flashbacks, yo. And boy, did I forget just how bad of a character Sakura is. I'm not just talking about her general uselessness throughout Part 1. Her whole character sucks. She is literally a terribly written character, and an awful role model for girls. Kishimoto writes females badly in general, but he really messed up with Sakura.

And I don't for one minute buy the excuse that he's "bad at writing good female characters". What a cop out. What an absolutely lazy, pathetic excuse for a cop out.

I've seen reports that he even said he didn't bother to improve Sakura as a character because the fans hated her anyway, and if that's true then feck off, Kishimoto. You don't get to blame the fans for your crappy writing.

Here's how you do it: write a good character. Make them female. That's it. That's all you have to do.

If Itachi and Sasuke were sisters, their character arcs would still be the same. Genderswap Naruto, Kakashi, Neji, any male character at all, and nothing would change but their appearance. They would still be well developed characters. So why can't he do the same for the female characters? Because I think in Kishimoto's mind, females are less than males. That's what I think anyway.

Kishimoto's guiding principle on writing female characters
Kishimoto's guiding principle on writing female characters. Continue reading →

In Your Face from Outer Bass!

Oh yeah, who's the boss now? Yeah, that's what I thought.

hand clapper

Darth Jar Jar has resumed his place as the No. 1 Sith Lord! All hail are-sa bombad boss!

This was like a level 2 or something, and I'm struggling to finish level 3. That Toss the Feathers one was hard, but I eventually did it. I'm stuck on the last exercise. Umm, anyway, Yousician is actually good you know. I feel like I am actually making progress.

Update: no, it gets better!

flying thumb

This one is Continue reading →

That Did Actually Happen Though

I had a bizarre conversation with the Chipmunk today. We were flicking through The Dangerous Book for Boys, and there was a bit about Patrick killing the snakes. And I told the Chipmunk that there are no snakes in Ireland. He didn't believe me, and I told him it's really true, they don't have snakes there. And then he said "You should live there, then you won't have Boris Johnson."

Oh I know this is like something out of r/thathappened, but I swear he did say this. Obviously I don't believe he was referring to Johnson as a snake (that title belongs to Cummings). He knows I hate Johnson and I doubt his last comment was related to the snakes thing at all, but it was funny how he said it, that's all!

Edit: later I checked with him, and he said he was actually calling Johnson a snakes, so you know. THAT HAPPENED.

Tiny made a similar funny comment when she was about 3. So ever since my budgie's brother died, I've been leaving the radio on for him during the day. And sometimes PMQs would be on, and you know how the MPs do their "yeaaaaaaaah" thing. And sometimes we'd do imitations of them: "Brexit means Brexit!" "Yeaaaaaaaah!" "We need a strong and stable government!" "YEAAAAAAAAH!"

Anyway, one day I was reading Metro, and Theresa May had messed up something or another as usual, and I said, "You had one job, Theresa May. One job."

And Tiny said "Yeah, you had one job!" You know how kids like to parrot the grown ups.

So I said, "What job then?"

And she said, "Brexit means Brexit! Yeeaaaaaah!"

I thought it was funny anyway. I guess you had to be there.

Does Anyone Remember OnChat.com?

It was a graphical chatroom from the 90s. I can't find any mention of it online anywhere though. I did find these old avatars that I downloaded, and I know I downloaded some of the room backgrounds, but they're either on a floppy drive somewhere or I deleted them. I know I definitely had the treehouse background, and I had a copy on my old geocities, but who knows where it is now. It's strange that I can't find any reference to the site, unless I'm remembering the name wrong. Putting the avs through TinEye brings up no results either. I'd expect some trace of it to remain.

ohchat coolgirl onchat schoolgirl onchat fighter girl onchat broom girl onchat boy

There was also a guitar girl, but I can't find the original, only my edited bass version.

onchat rock chick

What Was the Point of Aunt Viv 2.0?

You might know we got The Fresh Prince on iPlayer this year. I recently finished watching the complete series and seriously, what was the point of Aunt Viv 2.0? If they'd killed off the character at the end of Series 3, it wouldn't have made a difference. She really didn't bring anything to the show from Series 4 onward.

Viv 1.0 was an intelligent, educated woman, who knew how to fight for what she believed in — and had to — and inspired those around her to do the same. She was never afraid to stand up to Philip if she disagreed with him, and she was confident in herself to speak truth to power. Yet she was the nurturing, gentle mother-figure when she needed to be. Plus she could sing AND dance. All without crossing the line into Mary Sue territory. Viv 1.0 was great.

Viv 2.0 was really just a part of the furniture. No "Hold me back, Philip!"s from her. And I think it gives context to Will Smith accusing Janet Hubert of wanting the show to "become the Aunt Viv show" — assuming she ever said anything to that effect, all Hubert probably wanted was for Viv to get her personality back.

The First Online Mention I Can Find Linking the Richat Stucture to Atlantis

richat structure photo credit esa

ATLANTIS FOUND (By Me) In The Sahara by The Puzzler | [Archive link just in case]

Because everyone is acting like Bright Insight is the originator (even though he himself said he learnt about it from a documentary), but this poster came up with the theory independently in 2008, and appears to have had everyone tell her she's wrong. I don't know enough about geology or geography to know if the theory is plausible, but it's still fun to speculate, and give The Puzzler the credit she deserves.

the puzzler's post

PS I believe it's pronounced Ree-shaat not Rickart.

Fimo RoboRed from Commander Keen

The Chipmunk is crazy about Commander Keen, especially RoboRed. PROTIP: the (unofficical) sequel trilogy, "The Universe is Toast!" has been around for some time now: Episode 7, Episode 8, Episode 9 (all download links are on the right-hand sidebar). We're on episode 8 at the moment, and it's up there with the official releases in terms of quality.

Anyway, I decided to make Chipmunk a RoboRed of his own. I toyed with using salt-dough, so I could make a large scale one, or even attempt to make a plushie, but discovering I still have some red Fimo leftover, I went for that. And yes, being about 10 years old now, it did need reconditioning.

softening old fimo Continue reading →