The moment you've all been waiting for... The coronavirus finally reveals his true identity...

His Royal Virus, Prince Philip of Corona-tion Street.

"I must confess that I am tempted to ask for reincarnation as a particularly deadly virus." ? Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, from a foreword to If I Were an Animal (1987) by Fleur Cowles

In other news, those of you panic-buying: I hope all that pasta makes you constipated. People like you are scum. Also you do realise diarrhoea is not a symptom, right? But then of course, I'm probably overestimating your intelligence.

If I didn't live in the UK, I'd be kind of amused to see the British Bulldog spirit in action when the Chief Buffoon's no-deal plans come to fruition. I mean, if people are crapping their pants so much that the shops are sold out of loo roll, when actual shortages happen, they may well crap themselves to death.

Meanwhile, Johnson has 25,000 civil servants working 24 hours a day on his Brexit project. They have endless funds as Johnson insists that Brexit must happen on his terms by the end of June. The 200 EU and UK negotiators have suspended their planned meetings because of the coronavirus outbreak. But Johnson insists in every interview that the UK will have broken all trade and other relations with Europe based on existing rules by the middle of the year. https://www.euractiv.com/section/uk-europe/opinion/boris-johnson-is-more-focused-on-brexit-than-coronavirus/

Yes, I am angry. I can't remember a time I was this angry. I wasn't even this angry when a so-called friend called me a Tory and racist scum.